How to Kiss

So you finally got "the look" and you're moving in for that killer kiss when it dawns on you that you need help—and fast. We're going to teach you everything we know about who, what, when, where, why, and how to kiss. Pucker up and let's have some fun!

Part 1 of 5: Initiating a Kiss

1

Drop hints that you're interested. You can put out some subtle signals that you're angling for a kiss without coming right out and saying it. Here's how to communicate it romantically:

• Get caught looking (briefly) at the other person's lips.
• Don't purse your lips. Keep them softly parted — not so much that you could breathe comfortably through the opening, but enough that you could bite your bottom lip easily.
• Make your mouth appealing. Use chapstick or lipgloss to smooth over flaky lips, and keep your breath fresh with mints or spray. Avoid gum, which you might have to spit out awkwardly if the other person goes in for a kiss.

2

Break the kiss barrier (optional). If you're feeling brave, test the waters with a small kiss on the hand or the cheek. If the other person seems interested, it's probably safe to proceed with a kiss on the mouth.

• If you're kissing a girl: Take her hand and slowly lift it to your mouth. Gently press your lips into the back of your hand for 2 or 3 seconds before breaking away.
• If you're kissing a guy: Lean in and plant a 2- or 3-second kiss on his cheek. Keep your lips soft, and avoid puckering like you would if you were kissing a family member. If you want your intentions to be extra clear, aim for the part of his cheek just to the side of his lips.

3

Set the mood with a romantic compliment. Go big and pay the other person the sincerest compliment you can think of. If you get it right, the other person might take the lead and lean in to kiss you.

• Say it in an intimate way. Lower the volume and tone of your voice slightly, and lock eyes. Not only does this communicate that you have deep feelings for this person, it entices him or her to come closer to hear you.
• Focus on an alluring quality. Even if you truly think that your date is an amazing basketball player, now might not be the best time to bring it up. Instead, base your compliment on how you see your date as a romantic partner. Here are some possibilities you can try:
• "You are SO beautiful."
• "Your eyes drive me crazy."
• "I love to see you smile."
• "I can't even believe I'm lucky enough to be with you right now."

1. 4
   If all else fails, go for broke and state your intentions. If your date hasn't picked up on any of your hints and you're dying to lock lips, you might as well be straightforward and just ask if you can kiss him or her. Don't worry, though — you can be direct while still being romantic and compelling. Try these phrases if you're at a loss for words:
• "I'd love nothing more than to kiss you right now."
• "I'm sorry if this is too forward, but I'd really like to kiss you."
• "I want to kiss you so much that it is just about killing me."

5

Go in for the kiss. Don't waste any time once you have the go-ahead — close your eyes, lean in and smooch! The next sections will discuss some kissing techniques, as well as how to handle kissing in different dating situations such as a first kiss or kissing after a date.

Part 2 of 5: Kissing Techniques

1

Keep your lips soft. Tense puckers are for family members or people you're obligated to kiss, but keeping your mouth slightly parted and soft communicates a sense of openness.

2

Do a few soft kisses. Start slow with soft, gentle kisses and skip the tongue and the teeth — for now. If your partner seems receptive, you can move forward to French kissing.

• Try to avoid letting your lips smack. The noise can be distracting, and might break your immersion in the moment. If you do find yourself smacking, slow down and part your lips a bit more.
• Stay light at first. Avoid smashing your lips against your date's mouth — for now. Kissing softly and gently gives the other person the chance to stop if it's uncomfortable, as well as allowing you to gauge his or her interest.

1. 3
   Stay at a manageable level of saliva. Slobbery puppies are the last thing you want your date thinking of while you kiss him or her. Avoid this fate by swallowing excess saliva occasionally. If you notice that your lips are a bit too wet, pull away and discreetly purse them to bring the extra spit back into your mouth.

4

"Lock" lips. If your initial kisses have gone well, try a lip lock, which can lead to closer kisses (and is a nice gateway for French kissing). Basically, you'll "stack" your lips so that (for instance) it looks like this:

• Your lower lip
• Your partner's lower lip
• Your upper lip
• Your partner's upper lip
• At first, putting your date's lower lip between yours is the safest bet. Most people have larger lower lips, making them easier to grab gently with your lips.

1. 5
   Make sure to breathe. Ideally, you'll be able to breathe softly through your nose while you're kissing. If that's not possible, though, break away for a second to take a breath.
• Don't feel self-conscious about being out of breath or needing to take a break for a second. Breathing hard is an indication that you're nervous and excited, which your partner will probably find flattering.
2. 6
   Use your hands. Don't just let your hands hang at your sides like two limp fettucini noodles — put them to good use!
• Place your hands lightly on your partner's shoulders or around his or her waist. (In Western culture, girls generally put their hands on a boys shoulders while he puts his hands around her waist.)
• Take the intimacy up a notch by pulling your partner in closer.
• Put your hands on the sides of his or her face, using your thumb to sweep across the cheekbone, or put one hand under his or her chin and tilt it upward.
• Another seriously sensual move is to put both hands around the back of your partner's head and tangle them in his or her hair, gently pulling.
3. 7
   Test using tongue. Once you're in a lip lock with your partner's lower lip between both of yours, lightly run the tip of your tongue over it. If you can move it slowly, even better.
• See how your partner responds. If he or she presses in closer or returns the gesture, you're probably clear to keep increasing the intensity of the kiss. If your date pulls away, maybe it's best to pull back the tongue for now and stick to lips-only kisses.
4. 8
   Try French kissing (optional). Using your tongue during a kiss is, in Western culture, referred to as a French kiss. Why do the French get the credit? Who knows! Here's how to get started:
• Sweep your tongue along the inside of your partner's lower lip. Try to move slowly and lightly at first, increasing speed and pressure only if your partner seems to respond well.
• Slide the tip of your tongue inside your partner's mouth and gently move it against the tip of his or her tongue. Use light, darting motions and keep your tongue moving — letting it sit limply in your partner's mouth isn't appealing and will bring a quick end to the kissing.
• Try deeper and harder strokes if your partner seems responsive.
5. 9
   Mix it up. Don't feel obligated to keep the intensive tongue activity going forever. Alternate soft and hard, slow and fast, deep and shallow. You can even go back to using only your lips for a few minutes.
• Alternating your technique will keep your partner from being able to predict what's coming next. Maintaining this sense of surprise and spontaneity helps your kisses avoid becoming stale.
6. 10
   Gently nibble your partner's lips (optional). Teeth aren't a necessary element of kissing, but a grazing them over your partner's lip can introduce another unexpected element. Here are some quick pointers:
• Keep the pressure as light as possible. Remember that you're aiming to nibble, not bite.
• Move slowly. Again, keeping your pace gentle will help prevent accidentally chomping on your partner's lip.
• When your lips are locked, place your teeth over your partner's lower lip and slowly pull back until your teeth are almost at the end of the lip. Pause for a moment, then resume kissing as usual.
• Don't break out the biters too much. They should be an occasional perk, not the main attraction.
• Be prepared for rejection. Not everyone likes a side of teeth with their kisses. If your partner doesn't respond well, try not to be too offended — it's probably a matter of personal taste, not a lapse in your technique.
7.